Two Letters!

Yay I got a letter yesterday with a bunch of pictures, and another long letter today! I guess the mail got backed up or something. Apparently he hadn't heard from me for two weeks either. But he got my packages, he is doing really well, he is looking super cute, and he loves me :) I feel a thousand times better! I love that boy so much! Oh so last night I made this digital scrapbook thing on ourhubbub.com. Its one of those things where you put in all the pictures online and choose the layout and colors and say what you want and stuff, and then they will publish it into a nice little book for you. I made one before, for my little boy in the preschool class I took/taught, and it turned out really nice. I've been wanting to make one for myself ever since. So anyway last night I finally did! Its just got a bunch of pictures of me and Matt, from the time we met up til the day he left. I'm so excited for it to get here!

missing you.

I MISS MATT! I need him. I don't know what it is right now, but my heart is just aching for him. I need him here to wrap his arms around me and just, be there. Maybe it's just because I didn't get a letter last week. I dunno. This is probably the saddest I've felt since he left. Tonight it just feels more real. He is really gone. How am I gonna last two years of this? I don't think I'm strong enough to handle this. I just want him home. Ugh, I'm so pathetic. It's barely been one month. I know he is doing the right thing. I know he is supposed to be there, not here. I'm glad he is out serving the lord. But I miss him. End of story.

Our Story

This picture was taken a couple of months after we met. This is our story:

When I was 14 years old, in ninth grade, my life wasn't going so great. Depression, bad friends, and poor choices had me going down a path that I didn't want to be on. So I began praying like crazy for God to help me find a new friend. Somebody who would lift me up, and help me remember and keep my standards and values. Somebody who I could be myself around, who would love and accept me for who I am. I needed a good friend so badly. Cut to November, 2005. I walked in late to my English class one day, and there was a new boy sitting there. My first thought was that this was the cutest guy i had ever seen. When he stood and introduced himself, "My name is Matt. I'm from California, and no I do not surf," I was charmed. But I figured he would be swooped up by some popular group of people, and I would probably never really know him. Boy, was I wrong. I was pleasantly surprised when, a couple days later, one of my guy friends invited Matt to eat lunch with us. I found myself easily conversing with him, overcoming my usual shyness. We just clicked. It wasn't long before we were the best of friends. I never quite got over my initial crush, but that didn't matter. We were best friends, and I had never been happier. As time went on, going into high school together, our relationship naturally progressed. As we got closer, it was as natural as breathing to say "I love you", to give each other the biggest hugs, back rubs. Pretty soon that turned into holding hands and cuddling in movies, and kisses on the cheek. All of it without a second thought. But we were just "best friends". I tried to date other guys, but nobody could even compare. Then about a week after I turned 16, Matt kissed me. I couldn't believe how incredibly wonderful it was. That's when I truly realized that I was in love with him. However, fear of ruining our friendship made things very complicated, and we decided we needed to back off. But I could not shake the feeling, that yes, this is my best friend. And thats how I want it to be for not just the rest of my life, but for eternity. I wanted to spend forever with Matt. A month later, it finally came to a tear filled confrontation of our true feelings. We were in love, and that's that. No more fighting it. Once we accepted that, it was all very easy. From that time, and still today, I love him more and more every day. Not that our relationship has been perfect, far from it. But I know we can handle anything. We can work through anything, and be happy together forever.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why I am waiting. I know that Matt is doing the right thing by serving a mission, and I know that when he is done, he will come home to me. I can wait two years for eternity with the man of my dreams.

One Month Down

Matt has officially been gone for one month. He is still in the MTC, he'll be there for another month still since he is learning Spanish. I miss him. A lot. But not as much as I had feared. I think the anticipation of him leaving was a lot worse then him actually being gone. I love writing letters and making packages. I love love love getting letters. I miss phone calls and texting though. I hate waiting a week for a reply. I'm trying to stay busy, to keep my mind off things. Nothing is worse than just having absolutely nothing to do. Thats when I miss him the most. Matt and I were basically joined at the hip ever since we first met. If I was ever bored, with nothing to do, he was either right there with me, or texting me non stop if he couldn't be with me. But I'm really trying to stay positive. I dream about him almost every night, and that has been a great comfort to me. I feel like I'm still getting to spend time with him :) I don't think its dawned on me quite how long two years is. I'm just taking it day by day.
p.s. that is a picture of Elder Sheets. Isn't he handsome? :)